deanna October 6th, 2007

I’d like to think I’m a pretty relaxed and easy going bride. Rain on my wedding day? Big deal…. Rip in my dress? Who cares… My wedding will be perfectly planned so stress won’t be an issue….OR so I thought.

The night before my engagement photo shoot I was a mess. It might have helped if I had started planning things before 9pm, considering we had to be up by 5 in the morning to catch the sunrise. But who has time to plan?

I start to throw this and that into bags. Five pairs of shoes? Check. All the makeup I’ve ever owned? Check. A bottle of wine? Well you never know…Check. And as I start to fill the bags, I start to get a little nervous.

What if the weather is lousy? What if we don’t pose well? What if we’re uninspiring to Neil? And after filling the fifth bag, it hits me. I’m a wreck! Is this what the wedding jitters is all about? I don’t think I can get married!

I go to bed at 1am, worrying about my hair and makeup, so I never really sleep. When did I turn into such a Barbie? (Without the DD cups, *sigh) We get up the next morning and head out the door at 7am. Late as usual.

When we get to Letchworth Park, it’s absolutely stunning. I’m not a morning person (morning being any time before 11am) so I was captivated. Neil was setting up with the most tranquil music playing from his car. What a wonderful way to start the shoot. Ok, take a breath.

We pose for some amazing shots and head to the next location. “Stop being so stiff,” Billy says to me in the car, “just relax.” Wow, was it that noticeable? I peek at the wine bottle in the back seat. Maybe just a sip.

A few swigs later and I’m feeling much more Cindy Crawford. I couldn’t stop smiling or talking to Neil’s dead cat. (Don’t ask, you’ll find out.) And I finally start to relax. The effects of the nasty drink didn’t last long, but it had served its purpose. To allow me to live in the moment.

I realized then that these photos weren’t relying on a flashy smile or the way I crossed my legs, but about how happy Billy and I were at that exact moment being with each other on such a gorgeous day. How could that photo not be beautiful? No wonder I love Neil & Liesl’s images. They know how to capture that moment.

And I laughed. Weddings aren’t about schedules or fresh flowers. They’re for living in a moment of immense happiness for the whole day. I can’t imagine. I can’t believe I was so stressed over nothing! I can’t wait for my wedding.