Make Love Real

deanna January 4th, 2008

I’ve of course never been married, but I sometimes compare my wedding to my senior prom. (Only let’s hope I don’t dump my man the next day.) My prom, at the time, seemed like the biggest event of my life and I just couldn’t wait. And of course with all the excitement and preparation came the crazy dreams. And I mean crazy…

So I wasn’t too surprised when my wedding nightmares started last year. Most are the typical worries: getting married on the wrong day, forgetting to invite anyone, the church shrinks while we’re in it…real common stuff. Well I finally experienced a “mind movie” that I wouldn’t mind watching again and I thought I would share it with you.

It was my wedding day and I think because of lousy weather, I got mad and called the whole thing off. Well Neil had already set up all his equipment, so he was annoyed and decided to smoke a joint in the parking lot. I thought this was an interesting concept so I sat next to him and started talking. He offered me a puff when a cop showed up to ask what we were doing. At that point Neil was so high, he offered the cop his own joint, which he gladly accepted!

Unfortunately, Neil wasn’t in the sharing mood and another officer was mad he didn’t get offered a joint so he arrested Neil.Like a crazy man, Neil jumped in his 80’s Ford pickup truck and started doing donuts in the grass at my reception site. Dug the whole thing up like a mess than left, with the cops chasing after him.

As he ran off, we called Liesl to come bail him out of jail, but instead she decided to talk to me on a balcony somewhere and discuss life. And of course as we were chatting, the whole thing fell down and we ended up joining the New York City marathon in progress below.

Can’t say I remember who won!But I woke up totally confused wondering if I was married or needed to find a different photographer. Should I be concerned?

• Bride's perspective , Comic Relief
• Comments(1)

deanna October 15th, 2007

I found the perfect shirt for my engagement photos; a white tailored beauty from Guess. But guess where it didn’t fit? Actually, I’ll give you two guesses…

Now normally I don’t obsess about filling out my shirts, but I’m an only child marrying a man with two beautiful sisters and a mother all blessed with big brains and gigantic…well you get the picture. It’s not uncommon for them to team up on me and joke about what they call “my peanuts”.

So you can understand that this shirt had to fit perfect. This was decided at 10pm the night before my photo session. No problem, I’ll just grab my bra made of pillows.

Hmmm…that didn’t seem to fill it out. How about wearing an undershirt as well? No luck either. Ok, desperate times call for desperate measures. I’ll try bra on bra with undershirt…haha…I bet I won’t be able to get it over my head. WHAT!!! There’s still room to pack a lunch! This is ridiculous.

As I sat there looking at my deflated chest in the mirror, I wondered how I was going to pull this off. I had to wear this shirt, it was the one. After pinching the shirt from all angles, I realized I just needed to pin up the shoulders to lift up the neckline. Easy. Where’s some safety pins?

We moved into our first home just 2 months ago so be darn if I knew where any safety pins were. The only ones I could scrounge were some giants holding up our 70’s draperies in the living-room. That’ll do. So I pinned up the shirt and tried it on for the 40th time. Lovely! Well…except for the silver metal peeking through the fabric and the uneven gaps gathering atop my shoulders. After 30 minutes of trying to pin it just right, I realized this wasn’t going to work. Time to get serious.

The last time I sewed was in 6th grade. We made sweatshirts from sewing machines and my sleeves were different lengths. Oops. I wasn’t even going to attempt that. Too many buttons and threading, this job called for the hand stitch! Now where was some thread?

My only guess for the location of thread would be in our sewing machine. You would think this would be an easy item to spot, yet it took me over 30 minutes to hunt it down in the corner of our garage. (Just in case Billy gets in the mood to sew up some britches?) I open the top to find a single needle with less than 6 inches of white thread. Are you serious? Who doesn’t have a stock of white thread? Well I would have to make due.

For the next hour, I sewed my left shoulder. Martha Stewart, watch out. When I finished I had less than an inch of thread left. Well that isn’t enough to hold up my right peanut!

So I dived into my closest and choose an old white shirt as my victim. For the next 20 minutes I carefully pulled out a piece of thread just long enough to finish the job. I totally felt like MacGyver. Finishing the second shoulder in record time, I raced to the bathroom to view my tailor skills.

Perfect! And I think they might have grown to walnuts!

Happier than a clam, I headed to bed with only 6 hours left till photo time. Guess who was going to look good now?

• Bride's perspective , Comic Relief
• Comments(2)

deanna October 6th, 2007

I’d like to think I’m a pretty relaxed and easy going bride. Rain on my wedding day? Big deal…. Rip in my dress? Who cares… My wedding will be perfectly planned so stress won’t be an issue….OR so I thought.

The night before my engagement photo shoot I was a mess. It might have helped if I had started planning things before 9pm, considering we had to be up by 5 in the morning to catch the sunrise. But who has time to plan?

I start to throw this and that into bags. Five pairs of shoes? Check. All the makeup I’ve ever owned? Check. A bottle of wine? Well you never know…Check. And as I start to fill the bags, I start to get a little nervous.

What if the weather is lousy? What if we don’t pose well? What if we’re uninspiring to Neil? And after filling the fifth bag, it hits me. I’m a wreck! Is this what the wedding jitters is all about? I don’t think I can get married!

I go to bed at 1am, worrying about my hair and makeup, so I never really sleep. When did I turn into such a Barbie? (Without the DD cups, *sigh) We get up the next morning and head out the door at 7am. Late as usual.

When we get to Letchworth Park, it’s absolutely stunning. I’m not a morning person (morning being any time before 11am) so I was captivated. Neil was setting up with the most tranquil music playing from his car. What a wonderful way to start the shoot. Ok, take a breath.

We pose for some amazing shots and head to the next location. “Stop being so stiff,” Billy says to me in the car, “just relax.” Wow, was it that noticeable? I peek at the wine bottle in the back seat. Maybe just a sip.

A few swigs later and I’m feeling much more Cindy Crawford. I couldn’t stop smiling or talking to Neil’s dead cat. (Don’t ask, you’ll find out.) And I finally start to relax. The effects of the nasty drink didn’t last long, but it had served its purpose. To allow me to live in the moment.

I realized then that these photos weren’t relying on a flashy smile or the way I crossed my legs, but about how happy Billy and I were at that exact moment being with each other on such a gorgeous day. How could that photo not be beautiful? No wonder I love Neil & Liesl’s images. They know how to capture that moment.

And I laughed. Weddings aren’t about schedules or fresh flowers. They’re for living in a moment of immense happiness for the whole day. I can’t imagine. I can’t believe I was so stressed over nothing! I can’t wait for my wedding.

• Bride's perspective , Comic Relief
• Comments(1)

deanna August 22nd, 2007

Hello everyone, my name is Deanna and I am excited to be the first bride to contribue to Liesl’s and Neil’s wedding blog. My finance and I are planning to wed on July 12, 2008 and are eagerly anticipating the event. I found Neil’s website list of resources to be immensly helpful during the early planning stages of my wedding and I therefore hope that my posts may also help other brides who browse this website faithfully.

• Bride's perspective
• Comments(0)